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Wild Earp & The Free for Alls

by Wild Earp

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1.
If I had a dime for every time I cried for you You know I couldn’t buy a thing. And I’d still be a poor old boy But baby you can keep that ring. Cause I dodged a bullet today, oh hey! I said, I dodged a bullet today. You gave it a shot with everything that you got But baby I dodged a bullet today. If I had a dollar for every time I hollered or I got into a brawl over you I’d still be a poor old boy Without any dirt on his suit. I dodged a bullet today, oh hey! I said, I dodged a bullet today. You were settin your sites where you know it ain’t right But baby I dodged a bullet today. If I had a nickel for every drop of Dickel that I spilled upon bar with my tears. I’d still be a poor old boy. Cause I’m toastin’ my whiskeys and beers I said, get lost! Good riddance! Don’t wanna hear about your reasons or your penance. Said, I’m free. And you’ll see Nothing but the backside of me. I dodged a bullet today, oh hey! I said, I dodged a bullet today. You gave it a shot with everything that you got But baby I dodged a bullet today. If I had a Lincoln for every second thinkin’ that I should sink and come back to hell. I’d still be a poor old boy With no pennies for my wishin’ well. I dodged a bullet today Who dodged a bullet baby? I dodged a bullet today What I say? I said, I dodged a bullet today, Oh, baby, said now I dodged a bullet today, Well well well well well well You’re cluckin’ like a pullet, go on and baby cool it Cause I dodged a bullet today.
2.
Killin' Time 02:14
I’ll sing my way into your heart, into your head Instead of singing my way into your bed Those days are gone and I don’t mind I’ll wait here until you’ll have me, anything to make you happy I’m just happy killing time with you. Killing time with you Killing time with you Murdering the hours, the minutes, and the days as we pass through Girl you’re such a beauty, a credit to your race And I could spend my whole life just staring at your face I’m content just sitting next to you We don’t have to do a thing, well, unless you wanna do something Hell, I’m just happy killing time with you Killing time with you Killing time with you Murdering the hours, the minutes, and the days as we pass through And my friends, they don’t understand What it takes They say I’m wasting time, Well they couldn’t be more right And so I made this doll, fashioned from your hair So I could have you with me when you’re not there You know I’d do anything for you Someone else should look at you, I might just kill him to to But I’m just happy killing time with you.
3.
I have just one question and sorry of it's crass, But are you masochistic or are you just an ass? You're cruisin for a bruisin You're itchin’ for a switch You're prancin’ o'er the prairie And you do not see the ditch You're cotton to a swattin' A slap is near at hand You're hankerin’ for a spanking’ Oh your hides about to get tanned! Tell my now Why can't you stop? Well you better go and slow your roll You big ol boasting rollin’ stone Well why can't you quit All your talking and your squawkin’? I believe I've had my fill of it. You're aching for a breaking You're headed for a fist Your stupid little winning grin Has got me furious You really push my buttons You really get my goat You're hungry for a knuckle sandwich And imma ram down your throat Tell me now Why can't you stop? You know you'd better slow your roll You big ol boasting rollin stone Well why can't you quit All your talking and your squawking ? I believe I've had my fill of it. You're aiming for a maiming You're asking for the axe And I swear I will deliver If once more you say "relax" You’re pining for a wooden box You're dying to be dead You’re lusting for a bustin Of your big old swollen head. Tell me now Why can't you stop? You better go and slow your roll You big ol boasting rollin stone Well why can't you quit All your talking and your squawking? I believe I've had my fill of it. Now, why can't you stop? You can’t sustain your gravy train And your poor plane’s goin’ down in flames Well why can't you quit All your talking and your squakwing? I'm quite sure I've had my fill of it.
4.
I am by nature a laid back kind of man I take every day just as easy as I can But there are just some things that I cannot abide And there are just some times when I can’t keep it all inside I get to spittin’ and a cussin’ and a fightin’ and a fussin’ And a breakin and a bustin’ chairs Crashin’ and a bangin’, yellin’ and haranguing And inventin’ all kinds of swears Screamin’ and a reamin’ and a howlin’ and a growlin’ And a roarin’ like angry bear. Spittin’ and a cussin’ and a fightin’ and a fussin’ And you don’t wanna take me there I once knew a young lady, the fairest girl in all the land And I went over to win over her mother, and ask this girl for her hand But her daddy he did press me to see if I was genteel And he asked me one question too many, and that’s when things got real I get to spittin’ and a cussin’ and a fightin’ and a fussin’ And a breakin and a bustin’ chairs Crashin’ and a bangin’, yellin’ and haranguing And inventin’ all kinds of swears Screamin’ and a reamin’ and a howlin’ and a growlin’ And a roarin’ like angry bear. Spittin’ and a cussin’ and a fightin’ and a fussin’ And you don’t wanna take me there After the storm has passed I’m really quite a dove And I get right back to huggin’ and a kissin’ and speakin’ of peace and love. I try to be a gentleman, as gentle of a man as I can, And incivility is uncommon for me, but there are things I just cannot stand. I was once a news man, I read the news on TV And as it was a sin to hint at my opinion, I was pleasant as pleasant could be But every day pretendin’ was ok readin’ all the politicians’ crimes Well, I just couldn’t disguise disgust at all of lies, and my melt down went out live I get to spittin’ and a cussin’ and a fightin’ and a fussin’ And a breakin and a bustin’ chairs Crashin’ and a bangin’, yellin’ and haranguing And inventin’ all kinds of swears Screamin’ and a reamin’ and a howlin’ and a growlin’ And a roarin’ like angry bear. Spittin’ and a cussin’ and a fightin’ and a fussin’ And you don’t wanna take me there
5.
We don’t have to be enemies but we will never be friends, And I don’t ever want to hear you say my name again. Consider this the point to which my courtesy extends. We don’t have to be enemies but we will never be friends. For you are not my family, no, you are not my kin, And my respect is something that you shall never win. I acknowledge you exist and that’s all the kindness I intend. We don’t have to be enemies, but we will never be friends. All this bitter enmity you may not understand. You may wonder how so much hate can fit inside a man. But I swear to Christ that I shall hold it in me ‘til the end. We don’t have to be enemies but we will never be friends. We don’t have to be enemies but we will never be friends. And I shall never waiver, no I will never bend. This wound was made some time ago and it’s a hurt you cannot mend. This tree was set ablaze, and it’s a fire I do tend. And I watch it burn!
6.
When I’m old, and you’re long dead I’ll crop my hair ‘gainst the side my head. I’ll paint my door of the deepest darkest red. When I’m old, and you’re long dead. When I’m old, and you’re long dead. I’ll speak the words that my grandma said, She said, “Pride is good, but it can’t buy bread.” When I’m old, and you’re long dead. When I’m old, and my singing voice is gone, I’ll stare in silence as the morning dawns. I’ll tell my story, but not in song. When I’m old, and my singing voice is gone. When I’m old, if my mind’s still sharp, I’ll pick my uke and my autoharp. I’ll play for myself and the creatures of the dark When I’m old, if my mind’s still sharp. When I’m old, and health and beauty decline, I'll turn my eye to the treasure inside, And give it all away before I die When I'm old and health beauty decline.
7.
Twister gon' touch down Shake your foundation Tearin' up the fields across the whole nation, lord! Well there's a big black cloud rollin' in stretching ‘cross the horizon The horses getting restless and the businessmen have gone into hiding Half us saw it coming and the other half had no way of knowing But I've never known a man to keep a tornado wind from blowing Twister gonna touch down Shake your foundation Tearin' up the fields across the whole nation, lord! When the dust devil gits ya the gold won't matter anymore Whirlwind howlin' ‘round out on the white house lawn 300 million people wondering when the vacancy light comes on Now Katie's got her baby but she got no place to bake apple pie And the bricklayer's out on the street while his house keeps the banker-man dry Twister gon' touch down Shake your foundation Roarin' like an engine Rippin' though the station Tearin' up the fields across the whole nation, lord! When the dust devil gitcha When the tornado gitcha When the cyclone gitcha The gold won't matter Your gold won't matter anymore No no no it won’t
8.
Kick the habit, Peter Rabbit. You better bail, Cottontail. Kick the habit, Peter Rabbit. You better bail, Cottontail. You’re gonna end up in a pie Just like your daddy when he died. You like them big ol’ ripe tomatoes. You like to munch that crunchy kale. You got a thing for big potatoes. You like to munch that crunchy kale. Kick the habit, Peter Rabbit. Cottontail, you better bail. You’re always pokin’ round the garden Looking for a tasty treat. You’re always pawin’ round the bushes. Tryin’ to beat the summer heat. But I done told you twice, dagnabbit, Kick the habit, Peter Rabbit! Here come Mr. McGregor You better keep off of his farm. You been stealin’ from Ol’ McGregor You better stay off of his farm. You might just lose your arm To be a big ol’ good luck charm. Jump rabbit! Had to run off without your jacket Had to run off without your shoes Better kick that garden habbit, Peter Rabbit! You better heed your mama, too. All your sisters are good girls Eatin’ blackberries and cream And Peter Rabbit you’re bellyachin’ Sippin’ on chamomile tea. You’re lucky to be alive, Unlike your daddy when he died. Kick the habit, Peter Rabbit. You better bail, Cottontail. Kick the habit, Peter Rabbit. You better bail, Cottontail. You’re gonna end up in a pie Just like your daddy when he died.
9.
Tell ya right quick what ya got to do To git yerself a smile and your honeybee too To get your noggin bobbin' gotta start with your boots Just like the finest of wines have got the oldest of roots Your heart'll start pumpin' with a thump and a bang And your ears will rangalang Just put some twang in your thang Get some soul in yer roll Shake your rawhide side to side And let your troubles take a stroll Now yer hopping like a white tail into the brush But don't ya go too fast 'cause hey- what's the rush? Maybe ya lost the fight Maybe they read ya your rights Might could be ya got a hogtied ankles and a couple of police dog bites Well a don't you ail We're gonna post your bail Yer gonna feel alright Once ya git back at it tonight Ya just got to ball with yer all Put some church in your lurch Go on git some dirt on your shirt Honkytonk until your feet hurt Once yer hoppin like a white tail into the brush Tell them barking doggies to mush mush mush! Put some twang in your thang Git some soul in your roll Put some weight in your gait And keep a beat with your feet Light a fire in your fly And keep a light in your eye And keep a running red hot until the day you die With the pedal to the metal And your rear into gear Rollin' 90 miles an hour, grinnin' ear to ear Just put some twang in your thang Get some soul in yer roll Shake your rawhide side to side And let your troubles take a stroll Now yer hopping like a white tail into the brush Tell them barking doggies to mush, mush, mush!
10.
Rile up that doggie, let's rile up that doggie up! C'mon now, rile up that doggie, let's rile up that pup! Go on and give that man some bourbon Let’s rile that doggie up! Rev up that greyhound, let’s fire that ol’ bitch up! Bus driver, rev up that greyhound, let’s rile that doggie up! When we get into Chicago, driver won’t you wake me up? Let’s have a party, let’s rile that doggie up! C'mon now, let’s have a party, let’s rile that doggie up! Go on now, roll out the barrels, and baby won’t you fill my cup? Rile up that doggie, let's rile that doggie up! Go on, rile up that doggie, go on, let's rile up that pup! Get that frisky gal some whiskey Let’s rile that old girl up! We’re gonna make it to Alaska, let’s rile them doggies up! Well, I’m tellin’ if you’re askin’, let’s rile them doggies up! Ain’t no little bit of snow gonna slow them doggies up! Rile up the doggie, let’s rile them doggies up! Rile up the doggie, let’s rile up them pups! Go on and get them boys a pitcher, let’s rile them youngbloods up! Spill a little whiskey for the doggie on the floor C'mon now, spill a little whiskey for the doggie on the floor Say brother, spill a little whiskey, before you ain’t got no more! Rile up that doggie, let's rile that doggie! Rile up the doggie, let's rile up that pup! Give that hombre tequila, Rile up the doggie, Let’s rile that doggie up!

about

The Free for Alls are:

Alan Maniacek (Alanbama)- drums
Charlie Malave (Ace)- bass
George Hurden (Gorgeous George)- banjo, mandolin, guitar, percussion
Jedediah Taylor (Valentine)- lead guitar, vocals
Kiley B. Moore (Sweet Sassy Molassey)- vocals
Robert Daniels (Big Tobacco)- pedal steel guitar
Sean Hughes (Ponyboy)- piano, vocals

with
Despina Pafralides (Dusty Boots)- fiddle
Maddy Low (Muddy Puddles)- saxophone

credits

released October 3, 2018

Recorded and mixed by Robert Daniels at El Goodo Audio in Chicago, IL. Piano tracks recorded by Charlie Malave at Maestro-Matic Studio and The Hideout in Chicago, IL. Mastering by Margaret Luthar at Chicago Mastering Service.

All songs written and performed by Wild Earp & The Free for Alls.

Produced by Wild Earp.

℗ and © 2018 Wild Earp. All rights reserved.

Photo credit: Shayne Taylor

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Wild Earp Chicago, Illinois

Old school, new-fangled, funky country western rock'n'rollabilly.

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