Get all 14 Wild Earp releases available on Bandcamp and save 10%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Krampus Song, That Old Moth-Eaten Suit, A Cynical Christmas, Dyin' for Easy Livin', I Wanna Go, Ain't It a Shame (When Your Horse Goes Lame), Wild Earp Saves Christmas, Oligarchy Blues, and 6 more.
1. |
I Dodged a Bullet
02:25
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If I had a dime for every time I cried for you
You know I couldn’t buy a thing.
And I’d still be a poor old boy
But baby you can keep that ring.
Cause I dodged a bullet today, oh hey!
I said, I dodged a bullet today.
You gave it a shot with everything that you got
But baby I dodged a bullet today.
If I had a dollar for every time I hollered or I got into a brawl over you
I’d still be a poor old boy
Without any dirt on his suit.
I dodged a bullet today, oh hey!
I said, I dodged a bullet today.
You were settin your sites where you know it ain’t right
But baby I dodged a bullet today.
If I had a nickel for every drop of Dickel that I spilled upon bar with my tears.
I’d still be a poor old boy.
Cause I’m toastin’ my whiskeys and beers
I said, get lost!
Good riddance!
Don’t wanna hear about your reasons or your penance.
Said, I’m free.
And you’ll see
Nothing but the backside of me.
I dodged a bullet today, oh hey! I said, I dodged a bullet today.
You gave it a shot with everything that you got
But baby I dodged a bullet today.
If I had a Lincoln for every second thinkin’ that I should sink and come back to hell.
I’d still be a poor old boy
With no pennies for my wishin’ well.
I dodged a bullet today
Who dodged a bullet baby?
I dodged a bullet today
What I say?
I said, I dodged a bullet today,
Oh, baby, said now I dodged a bullet today,
Well well well well well well
You’re cluckin’ like a pullet, go on and baby cool it
Cause I dodged a bullet today.
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2. |
Killin' Time
02:14
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I’ll sing my way into your heart, into your head
Instead of singing my way into your bed
Those days are gone and I don’t mind
I’ll wait here until you’ll have me, anything to make you happy
I’m just happy killing time with you.
Killing time with you
Killing time with you
Murdering the hours, the minutes, and the days as we pass through
Girl you’re such a beauty, a credit to your race
And I could spend my whole life just staring at your face
I’m content just sitting next to you
We don’t have to do a thing, well, unless you wanna do something
Hell, I’m just happy killing time with you
Killing time with you
Killing time with you
Murdering the hours, the minutes, and the days as we pass through
And my friends, they don’t understand
What it takes
They say I’m wasting time,
Well they couldn’t be more right
And so I made this doll, fashioned from your hair
So I could have you with me when you’re not there
You know I’d do anything for you
Someone else should look at you, I might just kill him to to
But I’m just happy killing time with you.
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3. |
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I have just one question
and sorry of it's crass,
But are you masochistic
or are you just an ass?
You're cruisin for a bruisin
You're itchin’ for a switch
You're prancin’ o'er the prairie
And you do not see the ditch
You're cotton to a swattin'
A slap is near at hand
You're hankerin’ for a spanking’
Oh your hides about to get tanned!
Tell my now
Why can't you stop?
Well you better go and slow your roll
You big ol boasting rollin’ stone
Well why can't you quit
All your talking and your squawkin’?
I believe I've had my fill of it.
You're aching for a breaking
You're headed for a fist
Your stupid little winning grin
Has got me furious
You really push my buttons
You really get my goat
You're hungry for a knuckle sandwich
And imma ram down your throat
Tell me now
Why can't you stop?
You know you'd better slow your roll
You big ol boasting rollin stone
Well why can't you quit
All your talking and your squawking ?
I believe I've had my fill of it.
You're aiming for a maiming
You're asking for the axe
And I swear I will deliver
If once more you say "relax"
You’re pining for a wooden box
You're dying to be dead
You’re lusting for a bustin
Of your big old swollen head.
Tell me now
Why can't you stop?
You better go and slow your roll
You big ol boasting rollin stone
Well why can't you quit
All your talking and your squawking?
I believe I've had my fill of it.
Now, why can't you stop?
You can’t sustain your gravy train
And your poor plane’s goin’ down in flames
Well why can't you quit
All your talking and your squakwing?
I'm quite sure I've had my fill of it.
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4. |
Spittin' and a Cussin'
03:16
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I am by nature a laid back kind of man
I take every day just as easy as I can
But there are just some things that I cannot abide
And there are just some times when I can’t keep it all inside
I get to spittin’ and a cussin’ and a fightin’ and a fussin’
And a breakin and a bustin’ chairs
Crashin’ and a bangin’, yellin’ and haranguing
And inventin’ all kinds of swears
Screamin’ and a reamin’ and a howlin’ and a growlin’
And a roarin’ like angry bear.
Spittin’ and a cussin’ and a fightin’ and a fussin’
And you don’t wanna take me there
I once knew a young lady, the fairest girl in all the land
And I went over to win over her mother, and ask this girl for her hand
But her daddy he did press me to see if I was genteel
And he asked me one question too many, and that’s when things got real
I get to spittin’ and a cussin’ and a fightin’ and a fussin’
And a breakin and a bustin’ chairs
Crashin’ and a bangin’, yellin’ and haranguing
And inventin’ all kinds of swears
Screamin’ and a reamin’ and a howlin’ and a growlin’
And a roarin’ like angry bear.
Spittin’ and a cussin’ and a fightin’ and a fussin’
And you don’t wanna take me there
After the storm has passed I’m really quite a dove
And I get right back to huggin’ and a kissin’ and speakin’ of peace and love.
I try to be a gentleman, as gentle of a man as I can,
And incivility is uncommon for me, but there are things I just cannot stand.
I was once a news man, I read the news on TV
And as it was a sin to hint at my opinion, I was pleasant as pleasant could be
But every day pretendin’ was ok readin’ all the politicians’ crimes
Well, I just couldn’t disguise disgust at all of lies, and my melt down went out live
I get to spittin’ and a cussin’ and a fightin’ and a fussin’
And a breakin and a bustin’ chairs
Crashin’ and a bangin’, yellin’ and haranguing
And inventin’ all kinds of swears
Screamin’ and a reamin’ and a howlin’ and a growlin’
And a roarin’ like angry bear.
Spittin’ and a cussin’ and a fightin’ and a fussin’
And you don’t wanna take me there
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5. |
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We don’t have to be enemies but we will never be friends,
And I don’t ever want to hear you say my name again.
Consider this the point to which my courtesy extends.
We don’t have to be enemies but we will never be friends.
For you are not my family, no, you are not my kin,
And my respect is something that you shall never win.
I acknowledge you exist and that’s all the kindness I intend.
We don’t have to be enemies, but we will never be friends.
All this bitter enmity you may not understand.
You may wonder how so much hate can fit inside a man.
But I swear to Christ that I shall hold it in me ‘til the end.
We don’t have to be enemies but we will never be friends.
We don’t have to be enemies but we will never be friends.
And I shall never waiver, no I will never bend.
This wound was made some time ago and it’s a hurt you cannot mend.
This tree was set ablaze, and it’s a fire I do tend.
And I watch it burn!
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6. |
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When I’m old, and you’re long dead
I’ll crop my hair ‘gainst the side my head.
I’ll paint my door of the deepest darkest red.
When I’m old, and you’re long dead.
When I’m old, and you’re long dead.
I’ll speak the words that my grandma said,
She said, “Pride is good, but it can’t buy bread.”
When I’m old, and you’re long dead.
When I’m old, and my singing voice is gone,
I’ll stare in silence as the morning dawns.
I’ll tell my story, but not in song.
When I’m old, and my singing voice is gone.
When I’m old, if my mind’s still sharp,
I’ll pick my uke and my autoharp.
I’ll play for myself and the creatures of the dark
When I’m old, if my mind’s still sharp.
When I’m old, and health and beauty decline,
I'll turn my eye to the treasure inside,
And give it all away before I die
When I'm old and health beauty decline.
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7. |
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Twister gon' touch down
Shake your foundation
Tearin' up the fields across the whole nation, lord!
Well there's a big black cloud rollin' in stretching ‘cross the horizon
The horses getting restless and the businessmen have gone into hiding
Half us saw it coming and the other half had no way of knowing
But I've never known a man to keep a tornado wind from blowing
Twister gonna touch down
Shake your foundation
Tearin' up the fields across the whole nation, lord!
When the dust devil gits ya the gold won't matter anymore
Whirlwind howlin' ‘round out on the white house lawn
300 million people wondering when the vacancy light comes on
Now Katie's got her baby but she got no place to bake apple pie
And the bricklayer's out on the street while his house keeps the banker-man dry
Twister gon' touch down
Shake your foundation
Roarin' like an engine
Rippin' though the station
Tearin' up the fields across the whole nation, lord!
When the dust devil gitcha
When the tornado gitcha
When the cyclone gitcha
The gold won't matter
Your gold won't matter anymore
No no no it won’t
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8. |
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Kick the habit, Peter Rabbit.
You better bail, Cottontail.
Kick the habit, Peter Rabbit.
You better bail, Cottontail.
You’re gonna end up in a pie
Just like your daddy when he died.
You like them big ol’ ripe tomatoes.
You like to munch that crunchy kale.
You got a thing for big potatoes.
You like to munch that crunchy kale.
Kick the habit, Peter Rabbit.
Cottontail, you better bail.
You’re always pokin’ round the garden
Looking for a tasty treat.
You’re always pawin’ round the bushes.
Tryin’ to beat the summer heat.
But I done told you twice, dagnabbit,
Kick the habit, Peter Rabbit!
Here come Mr. McGregor
You better keep off of his farm.
You been stealin’ from Ol’ McGregor
You better stay off of his farm.
You might just lose your arm
To be a big ol’ good luck charm.
Jump rabbit!
Had to run off without your jacket
Had to run off without your shoes
Better kick that garden habbit, Peter Rabbit!
You better heed your mama, too.
All your sisters are good girls
Eatin’ blackberries and cream
And Peter Rabbit you’re bellyachin’
Sippin’ on chamomile tea.
You’re lucky to be alive,
Unlike your daddy when he died.
Kick the habit, Peter Rabbit.
You better bail, Cottontail.
Kick the habit, Peter Rabbit.
You better bail, Cottontail.
You’re gonna end up in a pie
Just like your daddy when he died.
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9. |
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Tell ya right quick what ya got to do
To git yerself a smile and your honeybee too
To get your noggin bobbin' gotta start with your boots
Just like the finest of wines have got the oldest of roots
Your heart'll start pumpin' with a thump and a bang
And your ears will rangalang
Just put some twang in your thang
Get some soul in yer roll
Shake your rawhide side to side
And let your troubles take a stroll
Now yer hopping like a white tail into the brush
But don't ya go too fast 'cause hey- what's the rush?
Maybe ya lost the fight
Maybe they read ya your rights
Might could be ya got a hogtied ankles and a couple of police dog bites
Well a don't you ail
We're gonna post your bail
Yer gonna feel alright
Once ya git back at it tonight
Ya just got to ball with yer all
Put some church in your lurch
Go on git some dirt on your shirt
Honkytonk until your feet hurt
Once yer hoppin like a white tail into the brush
Tell them barking doggies to mush mush mush!
Put some twang in your thang
Git some soul in your roll
Put some weight in your gait
And keep a beat with your feet
Light a fire in your fly
And keep a light in your eye
And keep a running red hot until the day you die
With the pedal to the metal
And your rear into gear
Rollin' 90 miles an hour, grinnin' ear to ear
Just put some twang in your thang
Get some soul in yer roll
Shake your rawhide side to side
And let your troubles take a stroll
Now yer hopping like a white tail into the brush
Tell them barking doggies to mush, mush, mush!
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10. |
Rile Up the Doggie
03:47
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Rile up that doggie, let's rile up that doggie up!
C'mon now, rile up that doggie, let's rile up that pup!
Go on and give that man some bourbon
Let’s rile that doggie up!
Rev up that greyhound, let’s fire that ol’ bitch up!
Bus driver, rev up that greyhound, let’s rile that doggie up!
When we get into Chicago, driver won’t you wake me up?
Let’s have a party, let’s rile that doggie up!
C'mon now, let’s have a party, let’s rile that doggie up!
Go on now, roll out the barrels, and baby won’t you fill my cup?
Rile up that doggie, let's rile that doggie up!
Go on, rile up that doggie, go on, let's rile up that pup!
Get that frisky gal some whiskey
Let’s rile that old girl up!
We’re gonna make it to Alaska, let’s rile them doggies up!
Well, I’m tellin’ if you’re askin’, let’s rile them doggies up!
Ain’t no little bit of snow gonna slow them doggies up!
Rile up the doggie, let’s rile them doggies up!
Rile up the doggie, let’s rile up them pups!
Go on and get them boys a pitcher, let’s rile them youngbloods up!
Spill a little whiskey for the doggie on the floor
C'mon now, spill a little whiskey for the doggie on the floor
Say brother, spill a little whiskey, before you ain’t got no more!
Rile up that doggie, let's rile that doggie!
Rile up the doggie, let's rile up that pup!
Give that hombre tequila,
Rile up the doggie,
Let’s rile that doggie up!
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Wild Earp Chicago, Illinois
Old school, new-fangled, funky country western rock'n'rollabilly.
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